Insider Edition
by M. StewartIf you’ve gone through a supermarket checkout line in the last week, you know that TV talk show host Oprah Winfrey has become the world’s most prominent ex-crackhead.
According to a National Enquirer “blockbuster investigation,” Oprah smoked crack in the 1980s with Chicago businessman Randolph Cook while the two were involved in a “sexually charged affair.” Cook, who blames Oprah for his esophageal cancer, claims she was cracked up while hosting her famous daytime talk show.
Here’s what I have to say to Oprah:
Shame on you, girl! If you need crack to get off, get yourself a better man or a bigger D-do. I happen to know you’re in Washington D.C. right now for the big inauguration. Uh huh, I know. Dee Cee, baby. Do wachoo you gotta to do. But please, please keep that shit away from Barack! He don’t need that. Not now.
I hear that the Obama inauguration committee is throwing a dinner to honor failed Republican challenger John McCain for his bipartisanship. However, McCain’s running mate, Sarah Palin, is not on the invitation list. Apparently the new president’s people never could warm up to the Obama-is-a-terrorist motif that the flamboyant, backwoodsy Republican made the centerpiece of her own failed campaign for the presidency.Insider Edition has learned that Sarah will be working with her new son-in-law's mother to open a channel to Oprah Winfrey. The subject of the inquiry is not clear, but it's not about Alaskan salmon!
"We don't normally deal with the blacks, you know, but in this case we think an exception is the way to go," Palin said. "Ya, we think that Oprah's got enough in the way of money that her color and politics don't much matter at this point."
With the big party coming to town, outgoing President George W. Bush will be heading back to Texas. I’ve been wondering what George will do for a living once he’s back at the ranch. Of course writing is out … and speaking. Because no Republican candidate will want to be seen with him, there won’t be any endorsements. Maybe Dick Cheney will give George something to do in one of his companies.What do you think W. should do now that he’s out and about?
posted by M. | 8:34 AM
17 Comments:
I think G.W. should be a guest speaker in one of your KSU classes!!! Perhaps he'd enjoy a visit over to Coffee Fusion as well!
DA--
Good idea. We'd better do it soon, though. Within two years, most incoming freshmen won't know who W. Bush is. I'm not kidding.
Loved this opening paragraph.
As for W, that's easy: go back to the bottle. It's the only talent he's ever had.
Your comment,that the incoming freshmen will not know of G.W.???
How is that possible???
Are our kids that dumb??
Our the high school teachers not teaching them??
Off topic but I am sick of reading about Obama being the "first black president" and seeing all the African-Americans gathering around him like flies, like he is the Messiah.
If we TRULY want an unbiased, unracist, unprejudiced country, then WHY is his race even mentioned? Why are the AAs circling like buzzards?
Why has he chosen all the AAs for his "entertainment" at his inauguration? I mean, I wonder if he REALLY likes Beyonce or if he felt compelled to use her because of her race? He just doesn't seem the type to like that type of music.
Just because the president elect is black, can't he like, say, Reba McEntire or Barry Manilow? Is this his way of appeasing his race?
That probably seems simplistic but my point is, I hope he isn't doing things JUST to appeal to the AA community.
I feel it shouldn't matter to ANYONE that he is of AA descent. It shouldn't be an issue if we REALLY have lived up to MLK's dream.
It is the teacher's job to teach; it is the student's job to REMEMBER. Quit blaming teachers. One of the reasons children these days appear so hopeless is because they are not held accountable for their behavior. Adults, too.
Yep, this isn't about race folks...not at all!
On one of the blogs people were commenting about the fact that the pilot of Air Force One is retiring as soon as he delivers President Bush home to Texas. The question was asked: "Wonder if Obama would be willing to take on an affirmative-action pick to be his pilot for Air Force One?"
Heh-heh....
Race is an issue. You're talking about it aren't you. Do you not think the fact that just, what, 66 years ago Obama would not even been able to vote depesnding on where he lived is news? The fact that 150 plus years ago he would have been considered 3/5 of a human being and is now the leader of the free world is not an amazing part of out nation's history? This country has a long and ungly history with racism that is not going to be erased by an election.
Who gives a shit who performed? He has said he listens to everything from Jay Z to Bob Dylan.
If you need proof that racism is still alive and well just go back and read your own post:
You compare an entire race of people to a pesky insect and annoying scavenger birds.
"can't he like, say, Reba McEntire or Barry Manilow?"
Noone likes Reba or Barry Manilow, perhaps with the exception of peckerwoods like yourself.
Barry Manilow? He is a songwriter, not a belter. That kind of crowd needs a voice worthy of the occasion.
Aretha is a fine choice. She is one of the few females who can fill in for Pavarotti, check out her version of Nessun Dorma (I'm sure it can be found on YouTube).
The lady has pipes and her songs transcend race, age, and geography.
She is similar to Ray Charles, Elvis, and Johnny Cash in regards to her cross-over musical style.
As to your point about race, of course it's a big deal. Just 50 years ago African Americans were hung from trees, chased with dogs, and sprayed with firehoses for wanting equal treatment under the law. Those are facts. Our country
is turning the page on that ugly chapter, and we should be celebrating.
But don't worry, the celebration will soon pass. Party politics will not so easily be forgotten.
Jeffy M
Maybe KSU should have some kind of entrance test to weed out the misfits. If we had an elector intelligence test, the Obamainator would not have been elected, as those that voted for him did not know much more than he was black.(actually half-black)
Teachers should be held accountable, the taxpayers are paying their wages. Same as any other government official. IF they do not present the information to their class, the kids cannot be expected to remember.
Too many times teachers, police, and paid firefighters hide behind the union's protection.
As far as G.W.Bush....he will live a better life than you or me, all at the expense of you or me. Of course he could write for a newspaper somewhere, HAHHAAHAHAH
G.W. should start a religious cult. He would have a great following, and make millions.
"If we had an elector intelligence test, the Obamainator would not have been elected, as those that voted for him did not know much more than he was black."
Not so fast, my extremely uninformed friend. Short of some sort of national IQ test, the best judge we have of one's intelligence is his or her education level - and Obama won a majority on every single level.
No High School Diploma:
Obama 63%, McCain 35%
High School Grad:
Obama 52%, McCain 46%
Some College:
Obama 51%, McCain 47%
College Grads:
Obama 58%, McCain 48%
Post-Grad Degree:
Obama 58%, McCain 48%
http://www.cnn.com/ELECTION/2008/results/polls/#val=USP00p1
Nice try, though. I bet they would love to hear your extremely well-thought out and heavily researched theory on the Rush Limbaugh show, though.
Yes Us Can,
What is wrong with this picture?
College Grads:
Obama 58%, McCain 48%
Post-Grad Degree:
Obama 58%, McCain 48%
I rest my case
Right-winger's complete and total disregard of incovenient little things like "facts," "hard data," and "reality" never ceases to amaze me.
So, let me get this straight. You rest "your case" - as if you had one in the first place - based on copying and pasting data from an exit poll that proves my point?
Maybe G.W. can be the spokesman for "hooked on phonics".
To Ms. Hummmmmmmm,
Your disdain for union positions leads me to believe that your burger flipping union didn't stand up for you picking your nose at the grill!
If it wasn't for unions you'd still be picking fruit in the orchards!
Regarding what G. W. Bush might do now that he is unemployed:
I think acting would be excellent. At least, he could make guest appearances on comedy shows and I think he would draw a great audience. Remember when Senator Dole did the Viagra (or was it one of those other dick-starch prescriptions) commercial? Bush would be great doing commercials. He can be genuinely funny, and he's not stupid.
There is some speculation that the source of W’s Bunkerish alliterations, one of which has a website dedicated to it, is a condition called "pre-senile dementia". Before anybody gets offended, the evidence for this is a video demonstrating the considerable difference between 1994 and 2004 in W's skills of articulation.
The video is on the home page here: http://www.adbuzz.com/bushbuzz.htm is telling. I have no reason to doubt that W is basically a decent person who thinks very differently from me. Sometimes I have trouble with everyone slinging around irresponsible remarks. I'm sure I don't always avoid commenting irresponsibly myself, but for what it's worth, this is not meant to be one of those times. I'm sharing this with respect for for those who supported (and still support) Bush's presidency.
The first part of the video could put anyone's question of W's speaking abilities or wit to rest. He's crystal clear, and this is why, IMHO, he was able to attain the Governorship of Texas. If you keep on watching, you see how later, he appears to be crippled compared to his original style. Now I don't know the real cause of this, and I'm not really interested in whether it's any form of dementia; my only point is, there is not a stupid man behind that face; so maybe we could give this a rest, all of the talk about stupid that we've done since the beginning of ORL.
(if you cannot play the video, try looking for this video in youtube or hit the 'web help" button that appears in front of it and find the software to fix it with.
Also, Jeff M. Said:
It is the teacher's job to teach; it is the student's job to REMEMBER. Quit blaming teachers. One of the reasons children these days appear so hopeless is because they are not held accountable for their behavior. Adults, too.
I've been reading Outliers: by Malcolm Gladwell. One of the interesting studies he refers to in the book reveals significant differences between the way well-to-do people and low-income people raise their kids, in particular with regard to how they assert themselves, and how it translates to learning and success.
One has to read it oneself in order to understand how convincing his argument is - it's not for me to re-write the whole volume here. But taken as a stand- alone piece of evidence it shows that even kids with higher IQs, if not TRAINED to behave with a sense of "entitlement" (to equal respect as the teacher - not to government handouts) will not translate their abilities into something material.
My description doesn't do justice to Gladwell's work; it's not nearly so simple. But if you buy what he says (and it's not easily dismissed) it does answer the question "why" kids around here and other places in America appear to be doing so poorly in school, and it's definitely not the teacher, and it's not that kids are lazy, and it's not that they are too apathetic, and it's not JUST that the less gifted kids hold the more gifted kids back. There is another dynamic at work, perhaps, that bears investigating.
Woo, I gotta go to work!
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