Football, masturbatory justice, and propaganda

East Liverpool football history
If you haven't already done so, check out the two-part story The Bells: First Family of Potter Football at the E.L. Historical Society web site. The information and photos provide an in-depth look at one of East Liverpool's great sports families.


A big win for Pittsburgh
The Post-Gazette's Bob Smizik wrote this morning: "Hard to believe considering all the negatives attached to them earlier in the season, but after eight games . . . the Steelers by almost every indicator are the best team in the AFC and therefore a leading candidate to play in the Super Bowl."

Hold on there, Bob! While the Pittsburgh Steelers' thrubbing of the New England Patriots on Sunday was a complete and inspiring victory, a seventh Super Bowl ring is a long way off. Pittsburgh has yet to show it can play with the Baltimore Ravens, whose defense won't look anything like New England's.

Astute observers will note that two weeks ago I didn't give the Steelers a chance against Tom Brady's Patriots. I went so far as to call Sunday's game a "no brainer" in favor of the Pats. While I am pleased to be wrong--very pleased--Pittsburgh has yet to show they can beat the Ravens, who visit the former Steel City next Sunday night. If the Steelers can handle Baltimore on the national stage, they can be considered the class of the AFC. Not before.

But for now, let's enjoy the victory over the Patriots. The Steelers beat the Pats in every phase of the game. If there was a problem, it was that New England remained in the game to the end. Had the Steelers been able to score red-zone touchdowns--even one--instead of field goals in the second half, this game would have been a blowout. That it wasn't is a testament to the Patriots, a team the Steelers very well could see again in the playoffs.

The Cincinnati Bengals (5-2) won again, making the AFC North a formidable division. Early in the year, everyone counted the two Cincy games as easy wins. That hasty conclusion now must be revised, and what appeared to be a relatively easy 2011 schedule has been recast. There are four challenging games left in the regular season: the two with Cincinnati, San Francisco, and next week's contest with Baltimore, which is a must-win any way you cut it. With all this competition, it's going to be a great season after all!

God abandons Tebow
A fickle Yahweh, whose spirit surrounded Denver Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow for a few minutes last week, threw his young zealot to the lions yesterday. The Detroit Lions defense ate Tebow alive in the Broncos 45-10 home-field loss. The lesson is clear: It takes more than prayer to win in the NFL.

Penis pumping judge
On entirely different note, did you hear about Oklahoma judge who served 20 months in prison after being caught using a penis pump to masturbate while his court was in session? Apparently the conviction itself flew under the radar, but the news last week was that the Oklahoma Supreme Court decided that Judge Donald Thompson doesn't deserve his $7,789 judicial pension.

The judge was convicted of indecent exposure after using the penis pump to masturbate in court "almost daily." The investigation turned up semen residue on the floor, his judicial robes, and on the chair behind his bench. Just when you think you've seen everything . . . .

Republican goals met
With Republican candidates and Tea Party activists doing everything they can to make life easier for the nation's wealthy, news broke last week that showed important gains for the rich and their political pawns.

The Congressional Budget Office published numbers revealing that the after-tax income of the top 1 percent of American households nearly quadrupled (up 275 percent) between 1979 and 2007. During the same time period, middle-income folks saw just a 40 percent increase, and bottom dwellers increased their "wealth" by just 18 percent.

Republican candidates and Tea Partiers keep calling the rich "job creators," yet there is little evidence that they are creating jobs with all their money. Hmmm.

Speaking of populist frauds
After appearing with the Occupy Wall Street crowd, propagandist/filmmaker Michael Moore had to admit that he is part of the 1 percent. Moore then went on to talk about how he distributed his newfound wealth to charities after the success of his 1989 film Roger and Me. He didn't say what he's done with his fortune since then.

Nevertheless, Moore continues to strut around in his working-class costume attempting to convince the 99 percent that he is one of them.

Football and politics

by M. Stewart
The talk of the NFL today will be the Baltimore Ravens offensive collapse in last night's loss to the Jacksonville Jaguars. The Ravens 12-7 national TV loss puts the Pittsburgh Steelers in first place in the AFC North, at least for now.

It's been a long time since I've seen any team, let alone the Ravens, go an entire first half without a first down. Quarterback Joe Flacco looked like a confused rookie, which no doubt will add fuel to Baltimore fans' tenuous relationship with the inconsistent, emotionless passer.

The Jaguars offense didn't look much better, but aside from one drive late in the game, the Jacksonville defense shut the Ravens down completely. Baltimore had something like 16 total yards in the first half, which is a feat worthy of the Cleveland Browns, whose 6-3 victory over the Seattle Seahawks on Sunday was one of the worst NFL games ever.

If the Steelers somehow manage to beat the New England Patriots this coming weekend at Heinz Field, Pittsburgh will face the Ravens the following week as the best team in the AFC, but that's a big "if." Beating the Patriots is unlikely, and you know Baltimore isn't going to have another game like last night's.

Patriots quarterback Tom Brady always finds a way to beat Pittsburgh, so on the surface, it's easy to assume that he will do it again on Sunday, but this Baltimore loss may inspire the Steelers to bring their A+ game against the league's worst defense. As such, Pittsburgh knows it will have to outscore Brady's offense--a tall order, to be sure, but it can be done if the defense is able to disrupt the NE offense enough to keep the game within reach.

On the political front, it looks like Herman Cain's lead on Mitt Romney is for real. See story on latest poll here. For a few weeks now, national polls have placed Cain on top of a seriously weak Republican field. Rick Perry is done, as is Michele Bachmann, whose political gibberish has reached the point of no return. If you take the time to read this L.A. Times story on Bachmann, you'll see why.

So it looks like front runners Cain and Romney will battle it out for the Republican nomination. Even with the stalled economy, I suspect President Obama can beat either one of these guys in a general election by showcasing his national security record. Obama has turned out to be a military hawk, and a successful one at that, so the traditional Republican plank won't work this time, assuming there is no national security disaster between now and next November.

As for the economy, the Republicans have shown that they have nothing to offer beyond partisan heckling, and all of the candidates have gone out of their way to prove that they are puppets of the wealthy--the so-called 1 percent. I don't see any of these candidates gaining enough support to beat anyone in a general election.

But as I always say, there's a long way to go, and anything can happen. And that goes for football AND politics.

Finally, take a look at this photo spread from Time magazine on the fancy duds worn over the years by slain Libyan dictator Mohimar Gaddafi. I'd say Gaddafi qualifies as what we English speakers call a "fop," wouldn't you?

Gaddafi's video death

by M. Stewart

The Digital-Age death of Libyan dictator Mohimar Gaddafi is as unsettling as it is satisfying. To be sure, this bloodthirsty tyrant deserved everything he got, but in the words of the Washington Post’s Philip Kennicott, “No matter how loathsome, a powerless person looking straight into the camera almost inevitably becomes sympathetic.”

There was something markedly barbaric about rebels dragging Gaddafi out of a pipe and finishing him off. Because some of the rebels had cell phones, the world was able to see the bizarre final moments of Gaddafi’s life on YouTube. As if following a movie script, one of the rebels took from the fallen tyrant a golden pistol that he proudly displayed as a personal souvenir of victory.

Everyone knew that it was only a matter of time before this international outlaw was hunted down and killed, but I assumed it would come at the point of a NATO bomb. It almost did. As I understand it, Gaddafi and a few remaining loyalists were in the process of fleeing by car from the site of their last stand—Gaddafi’s hometown of Sirte—when a NATO bombing raid halted their flight, forcing them all to run for cover on foot.

Wounded by subsequent rebel gunfire, Gaddafi hid in a pipe underneath a small bridge. Once discovered, he reportedly begged for his life before he was dragged out and beaten to death.  The jumbled video was so bad that it had to be real. Still, the international news media remained cautious about confirming the death based on the video evidence. After all, anything can be faked these days.  

If we lived in the ancient world, someone would be hard at work composing an epic poem about the final days of Gaddafi, complete with gods and divine justice. Today, the drama is captured on a cell phone. Later, of course, we’ll all see the fictionalized Hollywood account of Gaddafi’s decline and fall.

What I will always remember is that picture of the defeated tyrant as he faced what surely he knew were the final moments of his life. It’s almost too real—like seeing something forbidden. Even a full day later, I’m not sure how I feel about such things, but it doesn’t matter how I feel. What is, is.

Gaddafi is dead. I saw him die with my own eyes from the other side of the world. 

Exotic animals and Republicans

by M. Stewart
I look forward to getting more details about the "exotic animal" fiasco in Zanesville. There must be an interesting story behind the owner who let the animals out before offing himself. Any way you cut it, the symbolism falls into the "stranger-than-fiction" category.

It's too bad that all the animals had to be killed, but there really was no other way to proceed given the danger they presented. Those cops will have a great story to tell their grandkids.

Elsewhere, the Republican presidential debates are getting interesting. Now that everyone has realized that Mr. Cain's allegedly "simple"  9-9-9 tax proposal will raise everyone's taxes except for the rich, his star will fade. Mr. Romney seems to be the most appealing candidate, while Mr. Perry looks more foolish with each passing day, if that's even possible.

Cain and Romney will be the last men standing.

Think you've seen everything?

If you haven't seen this video of a Chinese child purposely run over by a car, you're probably better off. If you want to have a very misanthropic day, click here to see it.

Steelers get away with one

by M. Stewart
The Pittsburgh Steelers managed to outlast the Jacksonville Jaguars for a 17-13 win on Sunday, and in professional sports, a win is a win, but Steelers fans are far from happy about it. Had Ben Roethlisberger been able to throw the ball to wide-open receivers with the accuracy of an average high-school quarterback, the Steelers would have won 49-0. Instead, it came down to the final play.

I listened to the 93.7 radio post-game call-in show, and the two hosts were all over Roethlisberger for his poor play, specificially in the Jacksonville game but also throughout the 2011 season. When callers initially were willing to cut Roethlisberger some slack with the "every-quarterback-has-a-bad-game" excuse, the hosts made fun of them as typical Steelers fans who refuse to criticize their star players.

When the tide turned and callers began challenging the hosts' insistence that despite the bad game, Roethlisberger remained an "elite" NFL quarterback, the hosts turned on them as well. No matter what side the callers came down on, the hosts called them idiots.

The major offender was Tribune-Review columnist and radio host Joe Starkey, whose aggressive insults to local fans and callers--you know, the people whose uncompensated contributions the entire station depends upon--should at least earn him a discussion with management. Starkey is out of control.

For what it's worth, here's what I think about Ben Roethlisberger:

More than anything else, NFL quarterbacks have to be accurate passers, and while over the long haul Ben has shown that he gets the job done as a passer, I don't see him as one of the elites. He has neither the consistency nor talent of a Tom Brady, Peyton Manning, or Aaron Rodgers. I'm sorry, he just doesn't. In my mind, these are the elite quarterbacks. Ben is second tier, to be sure, but no more.

Yes, every quarterback has bad games, but yesterday's Jacksonville game still serves as a good example of what I'm talking about. The offensive line gave Ben plenty of time to throw, and receivers were routinely getting behind the secondary. In most cases, they were wide open, yet Ben couldn't deliver a catchable ball. This happened over and over, especially in the second half.

Given the same circumstances, I can't imagine any of the above-mentioned elite QB's blowing those chances, even on a bad day. I do not recall the Steelers ever having the kind of talent at wide receiver that they have now. These guys should be lighting up the scoreboard every week, but instead the Steelers manage just 17 points against one of the worst teams in the league.

Here's the question everyone is asking: Is this team good enough to beat any genuine contender? How many more bad days can Ben Roethlisberger have if the Steelers hope to make the playoffs?

Baltimore blew away the Steelers in week one. In turn, Pittsburgh smacked down a bad Seattle team the next week but barely got away with a win in week three against injury-plagued Indianapolis--a team that has yet to win a single game. In week four, the Steelers were beaten by a playoff-caliber Houston team 17-10 only to punish Tennessee the next week. The win against a very weak Jacksonville team leaves the Steelers with a 4-2 record, which is pretty good given the year Roethlisberger is having.

Six games in, here are my picks for the rest of the season:

7.  PIT @ AZ (This is a shaky pick. The Cardinals could win this one.)
8.  NE @ PIT (No-brainer)
9.  BAL @ PIT (Steelers can't stop Ray Rice.)
10. PIT @ CIN (Cincy is surprising everyone. They will split with the Steelers.)
11. Bye
12. PIT @ KC (The Chiefs were a bad team when they beat the Steelers before.)
13. CIN @ PIT (Like I said, a split.)
14. CLE @ PIT (The Browns are not a professional football team.)
15. PIT @ SF  (This could be a blowout.)
16. StL @ PIT (The Rams are about as good as Jacksonville. Pick 'em.)
17. PIT @ CLE (See above.)

If my predictions are accurate, the Steelers will end the season 10-6, which will not win the division but could possibly get them a wild-card spot. Clearly Baltimore is the class of the AFC North this year, and this very well could be a Super Bowl year for them. I must remind myself, however, that about this point in the season last year, I picked Baltimore to win it all. Things can change, and they often do.

A Trip to the East Liverpool Water Works

Wetzel show runs through October

Mary Patterson Gallery hours Tuesdays 6-8 p.m., Fridays noon to 3 p.m., and by appointment.

Craig Wetzel at Mary Pat Gallery Thursday

East Liverpool artist Craig Wetzel opens the Ohio Valley Regional Arts Council Fall season Thursday night (Oct. 6) at Kent State's Mary Patterson Gallery.

The artist's reception is 6:30-8:30 p.m. Free food and drink. Don't miss this one! Check out the artist's web site for more images and information.

Craig also is offering a Fundamentals of Painting class beginning Oct. 20. Click here for more details.

A walking, talking stereotype

Whistling in the dark

by M. Stewart
Of all the Pittsburgh Steelers' losses over the past several years, none has felt like yesterday's loss to Houston. This one felt like the end of an era.

Just four games into the season, most Steelers fans are wondering how they're going to make it through the remaining 12 games watching what appears to be a team full of wealthy has-beens who can no longer man up.

We all wrote off the opening-day debacle in Baltimore as one of those fluke "head" games. We said it was Baltimore's Super Bowl--a game the Ravens were obsessed with the entire off season. The Seattle game seemed to set everything right until Pittsburgh went to Indianapolis, which, despite the win, revealed serious problems with the defense. Yesterday's loss to Houston magnified those problems.

Ben Roethlisberger injured his foot near the end of Sunday's game and may not be able to play next week against Tennessee. Operating behind one of the worst offensive lines in NFL history, Ben is lucky he's not in a wheelchair. Throw in a defense that can't stop the run or the pass, and you realize that this is going to be a long season.

What's so frightening to fans is that the problem is physical. Star players don't seem to be able to play anymore. They're getting pushed around, run over, beat up. They just aren't up to it. Great teams like Green Bay, Baltimore, and New England look invincible compared to the Steelers, who can't even match up with second- and third-tier teams. At this point, beating the Tennessee Titans seems impossible.

Head coach Mike Tomlin certainly has his work cut out for him. I'm not sure what the solution is, but it isn't coaching, strategy, or preparation. If your players can't execute on either side of the ball, if they can't score points or stop the other team, they can't win.

I hope I'm being overly dramatic and that Tomlin will find a way to right the ship, but I'm not holding my breath. When your problem is personnel, you have to start by changing personnel. The obvious thing, then, is to sit down some unproductive veterans and let the younger guys have at it. After all, a 2-2 record isn't so bad, and the schedule is comparatively weak. There is plenty of time left for good things to happen, right?

Or is that whistling in the dark?

East Liverpool Car Barn